Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
