I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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