So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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