I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
