Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is classic penis vs brain.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize