Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
