It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize