he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
