Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

Thanks for throwing up on me.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

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(305): View more from Florida

I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?

(1-305): View more from Florida

Seriously?

(305): View more from Florida

100%

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(213): View more from California

Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Found the puke drawer

Fav 6 707 1986
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my aim is off when im drunk

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