Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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