sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
