im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The adults are the big ones right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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