just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
