just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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