Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
