I bet he comes in French.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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