They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
