Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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