nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
