He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
