I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
