I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize