weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
