I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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