So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
