Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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