I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
