Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize