If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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