I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
