i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize