Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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