Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
