mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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