You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
