On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
