I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
