Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
