she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
