So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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