Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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