Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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