it wasn't lemon gatorade
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
