I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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