honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
