i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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