and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
