Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
