Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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