fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
