i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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