Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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