So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
