it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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