this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
