You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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