I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
