I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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