ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
