dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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