I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
