You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
