There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize