I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
