that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
