My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
