Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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